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depression si back...

Fri Nov 14, 2014, 1:45 PM
it seems worse than before, but i don't even know anymore, i have pretty much given up on all of m classes. i am failing pretty much all of them, i know i am going to lose my scholarship, but i don't even care anymore. my parents yell at me for skipping classes, but to be honest, i don't see the point in even going to them anymore. i know i have fuceked  up, i know i can't possibly fix anything, that its probably better to just completely give up and not even bother going.


my depression has caused me to lose a lot of friens for various reasons, some of those people just don't understand what its like. others just got fed up with my inability to be happy.

i have been having thoughts of suicide nearly constantly all day. i just wish i could find a way to end it quickly and painlessly, but unfortunately my family doesnt own any guns. I've thought a lot about slitting my throat or hanging myself, but the only thing preventing me from doing either is the fear that i will fuck it up and end up living somehow.

to be perfect honest, i don't even know why i am writing this out. its not like anyone wo read this could help me. people have tried helping me in the pas,t but it never works. i guess i am just trying to vent a bit, maybe leave an explanation as to why i may have killed myself. 

i may try to make one last painting, but I'm not sure if i will get the time. i also need to buy another canvas if i want to make that last painting, but i don't know if i will be able to get the money.

bye for now i guess

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vansc14
I'M BACK BITCHES
Artist | Hobbyist | Digital Art
Canada

I am interested in many types of art. Literature is one of my favorites. Specifically books and short stories. I paint a lot as well. I enjoy the pointillism style of painting similar to Georges Seurat.

I make my abstract style paintings using an app on my iPad called Art Set which is $0.99 on the iOS App Store (not a paid advertisement, I just love the app so much)

All of my abstract paintings are original. I came up with the styles myself, not really influence by any abstract artist at all. Just try new things now and then, seeing what I like and what I don't like.
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Commissions

Abstract painting
Abstract painting 533 by vansc14
Abstract painting 527 by vansc14
Abstract painting 509 by vansc14
Abstract painting 500 by vansc14
Abstract painting 498 by vansc14
Abstract painting 526 by vansc14
500 points get you 1 digital abstract painting from me.

All profits go towards me buying a plane ticket to go see my girlfriend


Abstract painting (20 point special)
20 points gets you one abstract painting from me.

All profits go towards me buying a plane ticket to go see my girlfriend

Comments


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:iconrms-olympic:
RMS-OLYMPIC Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday!!
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:iconvansc14:
vansc14 Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thanks man
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:iconthe-badger-wolf:
The-Badger-Wolf Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014
Happy Birthday! :D :party:
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:iconvansc14:
vansc14 Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thank you
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:iconthe-badger-wolf:
The-Badger-Wolf Featured By Owner 2 days ago
You're very welcome.
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:iconaceofstcanardkly:
AceOfStCanardKLy Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014   Artist
Happy 18th! :iconbeer-plz::icongreen-plz:
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:iconvansc14:
vansc14 Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thank you, green square?
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:iconjasperinity:
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014
Happy birthday! :D
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:iconvansc14:
vansc14 Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thank you
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:iconaperturecrazy:
Aperturecrazy Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014
Happy birthday Super Fantastic Golden Platter Cake 3D The Cake Is A Lie 
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